i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
