i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
