New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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