Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
