in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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