Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
