I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
