You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
