He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
