i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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