how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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