I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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