I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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