Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
you had me at cake vodka
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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