i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
