Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
