well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
