toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
