Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
