I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
