that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
