Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
