Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
