That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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