i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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