i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
