I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He felt like a one man threesome
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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