when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
