i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
