this boner is exhausting
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
