I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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