she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
