did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
