Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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