You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
