the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
