i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize