How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
