Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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