Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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