Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
