yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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