you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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