38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
