If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
