This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
