i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize