May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
