Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
