I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
