what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
