I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize