btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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