Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
