There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
do nipples grow back?
Randomize