I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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