If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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