I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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