Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
